A parent's worry.

When you haven't had your own kids yet you don't completely
understand how much people love their children. You wonder
about those people who don't get divorced because of the kids
and say to your other single friends "I'd never stay" and they
all nod. You can't understand how people just stop making time
for themselves and they give everything to their kids. Again,
you & your single friends all agree you'll still go to the spa every
month & never forget to make time for yourself. That you would
still be well versed in current events and read all the newest
books. You also just can't REALLY understand why your mom
STILL worries about you.....at your age. LOL

Then you take that test, see those pink lines & go for the
confirmation ultrasound. The thrill of knowing that you're
creating life is such an amazing feeling & you fall in love immediately!!!
You see that tiny heart beat in that little sac of cells & you just
know they'll be the next Nobel Peace Prize winner or something
equally as terrific!! Suddenly, you're a parent & the worrying starts.
You worry about how much folic acid to take, if you should take
more vitamins since you have terrible morning sickness & they
exited your system as quickly as they entered. You worry about
c-sections, Strep B, Vitamin K shots, nursery colors and nobody tells
you that's nothing compared to what comes next. All of the other
parents want you to join their club so they never let on until after
the sperm has met the egg that you worry every day of your kids'
lives. What the parents of Special Needs children quickly learn is
that you have even more things to worry about than other parents.

You worry if your child is getting enough therapies, if they're being
socialized enough, if they'll regress while school is out before
extended school year starts. Then its what types of things
(dyes, lactose, etc) provoke behaviors or bring on bouts of GI
upset. How to set up a Special Needs trust in case you get run
over by a bus tomorrow. I worry my son will wander and get
hit by a car, taken by a stranger or worse drown in our front
yard!!!! I find myself losing sleep sometimes because of the
worries but each day just try and remember that God has
given me this child because he has faith that I can do it.

I remember as a little girl my mom was the school nurse at
our local ARC and sometimes we would go there. We were
always taught tolerance so we didn't think anything of playing
with the students there. We would see them at our church or
out in the community. They were always so happy to see my
mom & us that they'd run over and give us hugs & say hi.
My mom used to say that God gave the special needs kids
faces of angels because once you look into their kind, gentle,
loving eyes nobody could refuse them help. I often find
myself praying that people feel that way when they look
into my sweet boy's face. Its a constant worry that people
might be mean to him because he can't talk. I already hear
my courageous, feisty daughter defending her brother
when other kids say he's dumb he can't talk. It makes
me so proud that she's not afraid to stand up for him
even when her friends may think he's different or not
as good as them.

As a mom you always want to rush in & fix the hurts,
boo boos and take their pain upon yourself to spare
them. Now that our daughter is going to Preschool;
I hear stories of the teasing and it saddens me to
think that all this time since I was a 5 year old; kids
are the same. If somebody's different single them out
& taunt them. My daughter doesn't see any differences.
She doesn't know anything other than if they're nice
to me then I will play with them. It doesn't matter if
they're from the wrong side of the tracks, a different
religion, race........nope she's just looking for some nice
kids to play with & have some fun. My beautiful,
sweet hearted daughter isn't afraid of befriending
any child.

Her depth of character and compassion at 5 is inspiring!
She always has a kind, encouraging word for each person
she encounters and its my sincere hope that her spirit will
be infectious. Each day she inspires a new kind of pride in
my heart as I watch her grow into an even more loving
& caring individual who stands fast in the face of peer
pressure.