This topic is close to my heart today as my beautiful, daughter basks in the glory of just having won an award at her annual dance recital. She is a devoted sister to our Autistic son just 18 months her junior. She does her best to be patient as we do our best to meet our son’s needs. Yet only being 6 years old; the jealousy beast does still have times when it rears its ugly head. Dance is her special time that’s just for her. We do our best to ensure her brother doesn’t come to class which then makes it all about Megan time with Mommy.
She has really started to come out of her shell and it has become obvious as she smiles ear to ear the whole time she dances her Tap & Ballet dance numbers. Her brother enjoys seeing her come onto the stage and often calls out to her because he recognizes her. It has taken some practice but he now is able to sit or at least remain in the same general area for the majority of the recital which is in itself an accomplishment.
Megan’s dance school is run by a young woman who has a great deal in common with my daughter as she has already walked a mile in my daughter’s street & dance shoes. “Miss Amy” is the sister of a Special Needs brother and knows my daughter’s heart. She knows the heartbreak of having other kids not say nice things about her sibling, being disappointed when the best laid plans don’t work out and sometimes just wanting some special time for herself. She knows the love of a brother and the lessons it teaches you. It has taught both “Miss Amy” and our daughter compassion, acceptance, generosity of spirit and patience. It is therefore fitting then that Megan win the “Little Miss Amy” award for being a Leader (translation-bossy LOL) & being a lot like “Miss Amy”.
Sadly, Miss Amy’s brother passed away but is still honored each year by her charity fundraising dance recital. Our family gladly participates with “Miss Amy” because it is also our hope that through our example Megan will also honor her brother via charity work. It is also our hope that Megan will discover a love of life that she can express through dance or music, or sports or anything that makes her feel accomplished as “Miss Amy” has and translates it into a lifetime of joy.
Having a Special Needs sibling has made “Miss Amy” into a role model of compassion, patience and acceptance who makes each child in her life feel welcomed, cherished and loved as they pass through the studio doors. She is their role model, inspiration and strict but loving educator. The children flock to her when she enters a room and she helps to mold them into inspirational souls as we parents entrust our young charges to her each week. My daughter also is blessed to have an Autistic brother who has already taught her so much and still has so much more to teach her.
Congratulations to my beautiful, dancing Princess Megan on her “first dance award” and here’s to hoping she will continue to be cheered on by her loving brother for many years & numerous awards to come!
Showing posts with label special needs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label special needs. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Funny thing about swear words.........
The funny thing about swear words is that you're even happy
to hear "the bad ones" as my daughter calls them simply because
it's language when your child is Autistic. One friend tells of
going to school for her son's conference at school only to hear
her son likes to drop "the F bomb". Sadly, we were all excited
to hear it because he was talking!!!!
Will's bad word of choice has befuddled us because it's not one
of the words we use in our house. Now we're wondering where
his new love of the DAMN word has come from recently. He's
even using it appropriately. He dropped something down the
stairs & said oh damn. LOL
My son can't say his full name yet but he swears & we're thrilled.
I know my mom must be so proud right? When I was growing up
even the word FART was a swear word in our house and now they
have a whole series of kids books all about Walter the Farting Dog.
LOL You should have seen Nanny's face the first time she heard
Walter rip one on the Tag Reader!!!
to hear "the bad ones" as my daughter calls them simply because
it's language when your child is Autistic. One friend tells of
going to school for her son's conference at school only to hear
her son likes to drop "the F bomb". Sadly, we were all excited
to hear it because he was talking!!!!
Will's bad word of choice has befuddled us because it's not one
of the words we use in our house. Now we're wondering where
his new love of the DAMN word has come from recently. He's
even using it appropriately. He dropped something down the
stairs & said oh damn. LOL
My son can't say his full name yet but he swears & we're thrilled.
I know my mom must be so proud right? When I was growing up
even the word FART was a swear word in our house and now they
have a whole series of kids books all about Walter the Farting Dog.
LOL You should have seen Nanny's face the first time she heard
Walter rip one on the Tag Reader!!!
Don't Beat Yourself Up..........
I got an email today from a young mom whose child was only
recently diagnosed with a Spectrum disorder. Then I received a
call from a veteran mom whose child has been diagnosed for 7+
years now. What amazed me the most about the two of them
was how similar their feelings were to each other's and mine too.
My favorite thing to say to other moms as they struggle with
the Autism monster is "do what you need to do to get through
the day".
It's not always easy & trust me when I tell you I'm not Suzie
Sunshine by any means. LOL Yes, I struggle with the worry that
everyone stares at Will or thinks he's different. Sometimes I wish
Will could be like the other kids & listen when I tell him not to
run in front of the swings at the playground instead of me having
grass stains from diving on him to keep him from getting hit. I
even wish at times like getting a family portrait done that it was
as simple as say cheese. You do mourn the what if's alot when
they're first diagnosed and then over time when it seems like
their peers are so much farther ahead. Megan is only 18 months
older so I always know what Will could be doing.
What hurts me the most though is when my Nephew who just
turned 4 is doing stuff that's closer to what Meg is doing than Will.
Sometimes I can't help myself & I cry when my mom tells
me something cute he's said or done. Not because I don't want
him to be doing those things but because I know what has been
stolen from us too.
I waste alot of days feeling sorry for myself but try not to wallow
in the pity. Some days it's easier than others. Then I look into my
son's sweet face and I'm reminded how much I adore this kid.
Flapping, hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, pulling my hair and all
of it he does and has done in public but I know deep down that's
not my beautiful boy.....it's the illness. He almost yanked huge
clumps of my hair out the first day of school when I had to drive
him to school after the bus left w/out even stopping. I have my
days that I've cried in public because he's been so bad and been
hurting me physically in a dr's office waiting room while others
watched in horror. Well watch all you want because I waited
6 months to get into this dr's office and I'm not leaving no matter
how badly my son acts or how undignified you think I look. Yes,
that's right I'm simply doing what I can to get through that day.
I have my days that I have to stop and take a really big, deep
breath as he's pinching me so often I look like a battered woman.
Some days I even have to stop and take 3 or 4 deep breaths just
to get through the first hour after he gets off the bus. You will have
those days when you feel like it would be nice just to run away, get
some drinks, take a bubble bath and order room service. They
won't ever hold a candle to those days when your child looks at
you and says I love you mommy.
People will judge you and maybe even try to make you feel badly
about how your child acts or how behind the other kids. I've had
other moms who were blessed w/only "typical" kids tell me what I'm
doing wrong and then there are the moms who have walked in my
shoes that just give me a look that says I understand. Or the dad
who sees that I'm alone and struggling when Scott used to work
all the time & he'd help me get our stuff to the car or catch
Will as he tried to run away.
I'm thankful for all of those people coming into my life because they
all just as William does have a lesson to teach me. Just remember
Autism moms and dads, God has Faith in you and your ability to parent
these Autistic kids (his "special" angels) just the way they need to be
parented. He also understands if you struggle with things not always
being peachy- keen. A true friend and compassionate person would
never ever judge you for saying just that either. You will lose friends
over the course of this illness and then you'll also meet some terrific,
inspiring, uplifting people who you'll wonder what good things you
ever did to deserve their friendship. I can promise you that. :)
Keep your chins up and just keep breathing! Keep your spirits up
and remember this isn't a sprint it's a relay and sometimes you just
have to hand off the baton in order to be able to recharge for the next leg.
recently diagnosed with a Spectrum disorder. Then I received a
call from a veteran mom whose child has been diagnosed for 7+
years now. What amazed me the most about the two of them
was how similar their feelings were to each other's and mine too.
My favorite thing to say to other moms as they struggle with
the Autism monster is "do what you need to do to get through
the day".
It's not always easy & trust me when I tell you I'm not Suzie
Sunshine by any means. LOL Yes, I struggle with the worry that
everyone stares at Will or thinks he's different. Sometimes I wish
Will could be like the other kids & listen when I tell him not to
run in front of the swings at the playground instead of me having
grass stains from diving on him to keep him from getting hit. I
even wish at times like getting a family portrait done that it was
as simple as say cheese. You do mourn the what if's alot when
they're first diagnosed and then over time when it seems like
their peers are so much farther ahead. Megan is only 18 months
older so I always know what Will could be doing.
What hurts me the most though is when my Nephew who just
turned 4 is doing stuff that's closer to what Meg is doing than Will.
Sometimes I can't help myself & I cry when my mom tells
me something cute he's said or done. Not because I don't want
him to be doing those things but because I know what has been
stolen from us too.
I waste alot of days feeling sorry for myself but try not to wallow
in the pity. Some days it's easier than others. Then I look into my
son's sweet face and I'm reminded how much I adore this kid.
Flapping, hitting, kicking, biting, pushing, pulling my hair and all
of it he does and has done in public but I know deep down that's
not my beautiful boy.....it's the illness. He almost yanked huge
clumps of my hair out the first day of school when I had to drive
him to school after the bus left w/out even stopping. I have my
days that I've cried in public because he's been so bad and been
hurting me physically in a dr's office waiting room while others
watched in horror. Well watch all you want because I waited
6 months to get into this dr's office and I'm not leaving no matter
how badly my son acts or how undignified you think I look. Yes,
that's right I'm simply doing what I can to get through that day.
I have my days that I have to stop and take a really big, deep
breath as he's pinching me so often I look like a battered woman.
Some days I even have to stop and take 3 or 4 deep breaths just
to get through the first hour after he gets off the bus. You will have
those days when you feel like it would be nice just to run away, get
some drinks, take a bubble bath and order room service. They
won't ever hold a candle to those days when your child looks at
you and says I love you mommy.
People will judge you and maybe even try to make you feel badly
about how your child acts or how behind the other kids. I've had
other moms who were blessed w/only "typical" kids tell me what I'm
doing wrong and then there are the moms who have walked in my
shoes that just give me a look that says I understand. Or the dad
who sees that I'm alone and struggling when Scott used to work
all the time & he'd help me get our stuff to the car or catch
Will as he tried to run away.
I'm thankful for all of those people coming into my life because they
all just as William does have a lesson to teach me. Just remember
Autism moms and dads, God has Faith in you and your ability to parent
these Autistic kids (his "special" angels) just the way they need to be
parented. He also understands if you struggle with things not always
being peachy- keen. A true friend and compassionate person would
never ever judge you for saying just that either. You will lose friends
over the course of this illness and then you'll also meet some terrific,
inspiring, uplifting people who you'll wonder what good things you
ever did to deserve their friendship. I can promise you that. :)
Keep your chins up and just keep breathing! Keep your spirits up
and remember this isn't a sprint it's a relay and sometimes you just
have to hand off the baton in order to be able to recharge for the next leg.
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