The Blessings of being the sibling of a Special Needs Child

This topic is close to my heart today as my beautiful, daughter basks in the glory of just having won an award at her annual dance recital. She is a devoted sister to our Autistic son just 18 months her junior. She does her best to be patient as we do our best to meet our son’s needs. Yet only being 6 years old; the jealousy beast does still have times when it rears its ugly head. Dance is her special time that’s just for her. We do our best to ensure her brother doesn’t come to class which then makes it all about Megan time with Mommy.

She has really started to come out of her shell and it has become obvious as she smiles ear to ear the whole time she dances her Tap & Ballet dance numbers. Her brother enjoys seeing her come onto the stage and often calls out to her because he recognizes her. It has taken some practice but he now is able to sit or at least remain in the same general area for the majority of the recital which is in itself an accomplishment.

Megan’s dance school is run by a young woman who has a great deal in common with my daughter as she has already walked a mile in my daughter’s street & dance shoes. “Miss Amy” is the sister of a Special Needs brother and knows my daughter’s heart. She knows the heartbreak of having other kids not say nice things about her sibling, being disappointed when the best laid plans don’t work out and sometimes just wanting some special time for herself. She knows the love of a brother and the lessons it teaches you. It has taught both “Miss Amy” and our daughter compassion, acceptance, generosity of spirit and patience. It is therefore fitting then that Megan win the “Little Miss Amy” award for being a Leader (translation-bossy LOL) & being a lot like “Miss Amy”.

Sadly, Miss Amy’s brother passed away but is still honored each year by her charity fundraising dance recital. Our family gladly participates with “Miss Amy” because it is also our hope that through our example Megan will also honor her brother via charity work. It is also our hope that Megan will discover a love of life that she can express through dance or music, or sports or anything that makes her feel accomplished as “Miss Amy” has and translates it into a lifetime of joy.

Having a Special Needs sibling has made “Miss Amy” into a role model of compassion, patience and acceptance who makes each child in her life feel welcomed, cherished and loved as they pass through the studio doors. She is their role model, inspiration and strict but loving educator. The children flock to her when she enters a room and she helps to mold them into inspirational souls as we parents entrust our young charges to her each week. My daughter also is blessed to have an Autistic brother who has already taught her so much and still has so much more to teach her.

Congratulations to my beautiful, dancing Princess Megan on her “first dance award” and here’s to hoping she will continue to be cheered on by her loving brother for many years & numerous awards to come!

"Surviving extra time off during the summer”

Summer brings to mind so many fond memories of wonderful days on the water for me as a child. The days of swimming, riding bikes, fishing, being on the boat & playing outside all day are some of my most cherished memories. Even those wonderful rainy days curled up with a good book were wonderful. As kids my siblings and I were subjected to “child abuse” LOL or so we thought at the time because my dad would discontinue the cable television!! I know a travesty right? The good news is we all survived and perhaps are even more interesting and certainly well read individuals.

All of those happy memories made me want to also give my kids a little piece of that. Our son spends a great deal of his summer vacation time in extended school year so we try and capitalize on our time together. My husband and I both love the water (ocean, lake, river—we’re not picky!) and wanted to instill that in our son and daughter. Having an Autistic son sometimes makes some of the events a challenge but he’s quickly learning to enjoy them as much as his sister does which increases my husband’s, my daughter’s & my enjoyment of it all too. It plucks at my heart strings to see my son excitedly running down the beach after his sister flying a kite or trying so hard to help build a sand castle.

If you’re going stir crazy and need to get out of the house:

Find air conditioned gym places (Bounce U, Twisters, Little Gym) for open play time
*** A bouncy kid is a happy kid at our house.
Check out aquariums, museums, area parks, historic sites and conservation tour areas.
*** They have great touch & feel museums, children’s displays or walking tours if you check their sites.

Search for area charities (Surfer’s Healing, Heart of Sailing, Variety Children’s Charity, Sea Paddle of NYC, etc.) who host events for Autistic Children and their families. ***Many are free or reduced rate events.
http://www.bestdayfoundation.org/                    http://heartofsailing.org/default.asp
http://www.seapaddlenyc.org/                           http://www.surfershealing.org/index.html
http://www.varietychildrenscharity.org/              http://www.poac.net/

Our state is rich with historic lighthouses and some of the country’s most beautiful beaches right at our back door. We’re also within driving distance of Boston, Baltimore, Philadelphia, NYC, the Thousand Islands, Poconos Mountains, Adirondack Mountains and even some provinces of Canada.

If you’re looking for ideas to do closer to home then you could do all sorts of stuff! Picnic in your own backyard, camp out at Grandma’s house, spend a rainy day at the local library, have a neighborhood block party or snuggle around a “camp fire” in your backyard and roast marshmallows. Try out a Yoga class for Special Needs kids, book a therapeutic horseback riding lesson, look for seashells and sea glass on the beach, fly a kite.

Many of my childhood, summer memories are of the simplest things. They are all about my being with my Parents, Grandparents, siblings, cousins, Aunts and Uncles. The love, innocence and pure joy of just having time to play and be a kid is what I hope to instill in both my children.

Invitation to the Board of Directors.....

Recently, I received a phone call from a man who I think just may have the biggest heart ever. It was the President of Parents of Autistic Children, a New Jersey charity. My husband & I have thought this charity is just fantastic since we found them. Then we had the pleasure of meeting Gary, it's President and we knew then why it was so special.

That day's phone call was not at all what I expected. I thought oh good maybe they're finally going to take me up on my offer to help fund raise. During my professional career I had the opportunity to organize several charity events and it felt so fulfilling. Honestly, I was missing the stimulation of working even though I cherish every single day I have at home raising my kids. No that day Gary was calling to invite me to join POAC's Board of Directors.

I can tell you I was shocked!!!!!!! Then I was so proud I thought I might burst. Naturally the first person I wanted to tell was my husband. Now I've always known he thought I was a real catch...LOL but that day I saw the pride in his eyes too. He often tells me how much he appreciates how hard I try for our son and all I sacrifice for our kids. Then I called my parents to tell them & what a great feeling. Being the 3rd child of a group of well educated, accomplished kids in my family it's always been tough to be extraordinary. That day I heard the emotion in my parents voices when they told me how proud they were of me & how perfect I was for this position. I was perfect for this!!!! The best part was my daughter's reaction...she gave me a big hug and told me she knew I would help all of the Autistic kids. Awwww!! My sweet girl.

Well I gladly accepted and am having a great time already. If you haven't done any charity work I would suggest it for everyone. My husband & I watched Gary & the other board members in action at the recent 9th Annual POAC Family picnic. That man & his team put smiles on peoples' faces & they remember names, the kids' names and boy when I grow up I want to be just like Gary. He always makes everyone feel welcome, encouraged & supported. What more could an Autism mom ask for out of life? POAC is a place where you finally find something free (Autism is NOT cheap to treat), feel supported & encouraged while also receiving valuable information & training.