We have been busy....good busy though.

***Our lives got super busy and we got wrapped up in living it so
some of these are out of order but still makes for fun reading. ;)

This past week we went for our second POAC surfing
event of the year and loved it. The families, volunteers
and weather all made it the "must be place for the
Autism set of NJ". We laughed, frolicked and played while
feeling the quiet contentment of acceptance. Which
isn't always easy to come by when you have an Autistic
child and surprisingly enough so many people still just
don't understand.

You didn't have anybody who thought they were being
helpful telling your "typical" child they couldn't surf because
it was only for the "special kids".....aren't they all special?
They said as POAC always does....siblings get to go too!!!
Yay!!!

I'll admit it I was nervous my two small 40 pound kids could
get whisked away by a rip tide or stung by jelly fish. I bucked
up and said you'll never know until you try and jumped in with
both feet. Our son is fearless of the water and it's a constant
on my mind every second of every day. He was in Heaven
when they took him out into the waves. He smiled and squealed
as he "rode the board". To my crazy, over-protective delight
they never actually let them go into the surf alone. Ahhhh.....no
constant watch for rip tides sweeping them away and being
prepared to pounce. I got to relax, take pictures and enjoy my
kids while they enjoyed themselves.

Our daughter is a completely different kid.....this one cries if she
gets water in her face in the shower. No exaggeration when we
wash her hair the people in our neighborhood must think we're
killing her. She yells I can't breath or help me!!!! DRAMA!!!!!
LOL It's all part of what makes her such a special girl though.

Well she was a trooper and even though she was leery she
wanted to try. She even did a great job and of course never missed
a photo op even while drying every spec of water that splashed
up on her face. LOL She hooted and hollered for her brother on his
rides in the surf.

At the close of the day I asked her, "what did you think" and she
replied I can't wait for the next surfing event so William will smile
and laugh again like he did today. I tell you this girl is so sweet and so
selfless so much of the time. Sassy might be her middle name but
love and compassion are her first and last names.

A special thank you to Mark of No Flat Earth in Brick, NJ our proud
sponsor!!  The gift you give our kids is something nobody's negative
comments can ever steal away from them.  Kudos to you and your team
Mark!!!!!!!!!

Moms need support too........

I've been talking with alot of moms of Autistic kids lately because I was planning a little bridal shower for my son's teacher & I've been out in my community doing some more advocacy work lately too. We all agree this battle isn't easy but we're all so incredibly blessed to have these beautiful children in our lives that we aren't going to stop fighting. Our angels need us!!!

I try really hard to stay positive & move forward with our fight & my son's journey back from Autism. I like to hear other people's stories and learn what they each have to teach me. I've always been a people person and I believe this will be one of my single most helpful traits in this battle against Autism. I'm far from shy & I have a great capacity for empathy so this is why I think people feel comfortable sharing their plights with me. I also let the other moms know that I understand what they're feeling, thinking, living, fearing and as a result it all just comes pouring out. It is okay to hurt and mourn the "what could have beens" or fear the "what will bes" for our kids. Please don't let anyone tell you differently!!! There will be days that you just need to cry it out so that other days you can bolster yourself back up again and get back on the front lines fighting for our kids.

We all need a safe place to fall like Dr. Phil says and too many other parents who have not and will not walk a mile in our shoes are so judgemental. Lately, its been upsetting to hear that some of the local "moms groups" have actually asked the moms of Autistic kids not to participate in their activities. WHAT??????? Its a moms' group started by moms for moms .....but they're turning away moms? How is that possible in this day & age? How could people be that closed minded that they would turn a child who has a disease that is helped through socialization with typical peers? Its not contagious!!!!!!!!! It is also not right. It is times like these that I wish I could go right over to the homes of the people in charge of groups like and have them look me in the eye & tell me my child isn't welcome. Then I remember God puts people like that in our way so we can build up our own personal resolve & vow to not give up the fight.

Are there really parents that would perpetuate this kind of ignorance amongst other children in this day & age? Instead why not use an interaction with an Autistic child as a lesson in tolerance, acceptance & patience. In closing I would simply like to say that my door is always open and I won't turn your child away even if they do come to my home with ignorant ideas and attempt to exclude my child from their "typical" play. I can't guarantee that I won't have changed their minds by the time they leave my home and have taught them a bit more tolerance than they learned at home. I can tell you this though.........the day won't EVER come that my child would turn their back on your child no matter how different or lacking in compassion they might be. Children are our futures and the future holds a huge Autism population each of whom will need a friend.

Marriage and Autism..........

Yesterday was my parents 43rd Wedding Anniversary and its my
sincere hope that my husband & I may achieve something close to
that some day too. My parents marriage is something to be
commended in so many ways. They're good friends to each other,
they still share an affection for each other and boy do they stick
together. My parents have weathered many challenges in their
married lives as most couples do. They've seen each other through
the illnesses & deaths of some of their parents, my dad is a Cancer
survivor. They've raised, educated & married off 4 kids and are
excitedly awaiting the impending birth of their 6th grandchild
(plus 2 fur grandchildren Bella & Jasper LOL) this summer.


Its startling to see that parents of Autistic children have
astronomically high divorce rates. So here is my question.........
what if anything is being done to keep these families intact?
Is the NIH or Autism Speaks doing any research into what
causes these families to fracture? One of the most important
things we as parents or caregivers of Autistic children can
do is provide consistency but how is that being encouraged by
outside forces? Should it become a mandatory course of treatment
for the entire family to participate in therapy sessions? If health
insurance companies were forced to pay for family/couples
therapy for Autistic families would the divorce rate then plummet?
Do parents of Autistic kids not get therapy because they're
squeezing every cent out of their budgets to provide biomedical,
therapeutic or other various interventions for their child instead?
Is there a need for more therapists to be required to interact with
Autistic families as part of their training? Does a law need to be
put into place so each Autistic child's family can receive respite
care? I understand its available but have yet to find the time to
fill out the 85 pages of applications & send in the 75 pages of doctors
reports to substantiate that my child is in fact Autistic & should
receive respite care.


Parenting can be challenging to negotiate for a couple but then
introduce the other things like sleep deprivation, constant visits
with therapists (in home or in office) aka no privacy, the added
expenses of raising an Autistic child. Apparently that converts to
a 20% success rate for parents of Autistic children and I want to
know who is fighting to change that? In our family that translates
into my husband working more than he should to try and provide
all that our family needs while I hold down the fort at home.
Certainly it hasn't helped our chances of success because we live
in New Jersey; apparently not only the home of sky high Autism
rates but also a crazy cost of living and some of the highest
property tax rates in the country. Thank you Governor Corzine!!

Ask yourself.......what can I do to help these parents make their
marriage more successful? How can I help to keep these families
intact?

Happy Anniversary Mom & Dad! You've been wonderful examples
for all of us kids. Thank you for all that you do to try and keep my
family intact & successful. I love you both dearly.